don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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