Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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