Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize