Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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