i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I can't turn off my feet"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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