Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
