You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
