Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
