I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
