My first STD was from a foam party
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
