You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
vagina is talking i cant
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
