I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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