i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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