Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
