Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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