just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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