I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
