ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
