HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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