It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
