the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
