Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we made out on top of his cat.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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