WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
