I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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