i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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