have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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