Your face is a jimmy john
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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