I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The uberlube is also flammable
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
