this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
