Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
