I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
