Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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