I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
