he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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