She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You ate ashes out of my bong
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize