he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
