I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Randomize