It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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