This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
