She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i now understand why vodka
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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