I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
