I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize