Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
