member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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