when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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