woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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