I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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