Just fell off a train. Bad.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
do nipples grow back?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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