I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We are two peas in an std pod
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize