Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
