we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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