So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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