I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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