I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
