i don't like sucking hair
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
