Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sorry my hands just texted you
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
