yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
