I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
