Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
