The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize