based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
