Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
