drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
