y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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