problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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