hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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