one two three fourrrrnication!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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